Healing Your Relationships

Life is meant to flow. You will know you’re not accepting what’s going on in your life when things becomes a struggle. Yes, you will have your challenges, but what I’m talking about are those areas in life that are issues for weeks, months, even years at a time. It’s those issues that every January 1, you create a new resolution to change. They are an issue because you expect those parts of your life to be different, hence the reason to create a resolution.

If you really want significant changes in some area of your life, it’s time to change your perspective. How can you keep on doing and thinking the same way and expect changes? I know, I know… this time it WILL work! But how much longer can you afford to stay in denial and stay where you don’t want to be in life?

So how exactly do you change your perspective? In a sense it’s taking a leap of faith and swallowing a bit of your pride. As humans, we want to be right, but many times we’re wrong. It’s the struggle to prove ourselves right that cause us pain. To change your perspective, look at the issue in your life that you want to change. What are some beliefs you hold about that? Write down at least 5 “truths” or “stories” you hold about this area of your life. Then really examine them. Are they really true? Bust out of those stories by shifting your perspective. You can do this by turning it around to the opposite of what you’re thinking. Maybe instead of pointing out what someone else needs to do, insert yourself in the statement and it reads like your own prescription.  Be creative and know there is no right or wrong perspective, just a shift. What we’re getting at here is what you can become without that old thought!

I’d like to leave you with my own personal example in a shift in perspective.

My husband and I played what I thought a harmless game. Every time he said, “I love you,” I’d reply, “I love you more.” Then he’d say, “No you don’t.” I truly believed that he didn’t love me more, and went so far to think that NO MAN could love a woman more. I’ve been struggling in my relationship with my husband for years, so I knew it was time to change my perspective.

Old Perspective: I loved him more

New Perspective: He loves me more

It was a hard perspective for me to swallow, but as soon as I swallowed my pride, I could feel a huge shift in how I viewed all of my husbands actions. I was no longer wasting energy proving my old perspective right. Instead of seeing everything wrong my husband was doing, I could now see that behind every action was deep love for me. Instead of annoyance, these actions brought a smile to my face and a deep sense of peace, safety and love.

Reclaim the power to your life, spoonful by spoonful. . .

There is not a doubt in my mind that life’s synchronicity is perfect even when we don’t see it as such. I have learned that all I have to do is look at it from a different perspective to find the lesson.

The other day I opened my front door, (something I rarely do because I commonly use the side door), and to my surprise (and my 7 yr old’s as well), in flies a hummingbird!

The poor thing was anxiously trying to find it’s way out again to no avail. It was in front of the window pane and would try again hitting the glass over and over again resting on the sill in between so many failed attempts.

The irony of this is that the door was wide open just a few feet away, all it had to do was step back and look in a different direction! It took about 3 hours for it to find it’s freedom. In the meantime I was so elated because I have always been fascinated by them, so I immediately went to get myself a hummingbird feeder with it’s special nectar, I thought, well, if it’s here I might as well make his visit as pleasant as I can, kind of like having a guest over. Upon my return from the store, my winged visitor was gone, it had finally found it’s way to freedom, surely after tirelessly looking every which way!

I share this because it allowed me to reflect on how many times we do the same thing in our life? How many times do I insist on something over and over again expecting different results? Something we know to be the TRUE definition of insanity, yet we KNOW THIS time it WILL work! And when you think about it, it’s only because we don’t stand back and look in a different direction, increasing the probabilities of a door being open right beside us!

Today’s spoonful is about life’s synchronicity and it’s lessons:

First, I was so amazed at the odds of having something like this happen. . . “Wow, a hummingbird flew into my house, what are the odds?!!!”

Second, I looked for a meaning of what it could represent. , beauty, joy for life, enthusiasm, happiness and LOVE! Love? Yay, LOVE! I exclaimed.

I was so amazed by the fact it had flown in, (the glass I kept hitting against), that it’s deeper message escaped me, (in this case the open door). For me the open door, was in fact more literal than I thought. I failed to realize that the probabilities would increase if I’d open that door more often.

This spoonful is simply to ask myself:

Am I ready to open the door to let love, joy, enthusiasm and joy of life into mine? What do I do on a daily basis to invite these qualities in? Do I even open the door to let them in?

So, this seemingly mundane and simple event, allowed me to see that because I was so focused on how rare it is to have a hummingbird fly into my home, I wasn’t acknowledging the fact that the power of having this happen more frequently was ALWAYS in my own hands!

Thanks to this spoonful I now have hummingbirds outside of my window every single day, and delight in watching them take in their savory nectar and fly away with a happy heart. This of course is now my reminder of how important it is to feed my own internal flame day by day, minute by minute and especially. . . a spoonful at a time!

From my full heart to yours!
Adrianna

Adrianna is a featured radio host in a show called “Wednesdays with Adrianna, my Integrative Coach.” She created the concept, “Reclaim the Power to Your Life, Spoonful by Spoonful” where you “feed” your internal flame with self love on a daily basis, allowing you to step into the next greater expression of yourself. These “Spoonfuls” are now available on CD and are also featured as part of a morning TV Show in Mexico. You can learn more about Adrianna at her website: http://AdriannaPedrin.com

When you have a clear and vivid vision of who you can become and what you can accomplish, you’ll be inspired to make new choices in your life. One of those choices is how you look at your life and what you desire. I’ve noticed people mostly focus on the things they don’t want. (you know the person that complains the most seems to always have bad things happening to them?! The person that is always talking about illness all the time is always sick?!) So the first thing I want you to do is choose to shift your thinking from the things you don’t want and focus on what you want to create in your life.

Change these thoughts: I don’t want to be fat, I hate the way I look, it’s too hard for me to lose weight, I’ll just gain it back after I lose it, I can diet for a few days, but then I binge, I can’t stick with this.

To this (and make sure they are in the present and not in the future): I am at my perfect and healthy weight, I love my body, it’s easy to reduce the fat in my body, my body is always at its perfect weight, I always eat what’s best for my body.

Once you have identified what you desire, create a mental picture of what it looks like and connect with how you will feel when you achieve it or get it. Really connect with that positive emotion. And really connect with ALREADY HAVING what it is you desire. This is the key! The positive emotion and being in the space of already having what you desire.

What you are doing is building an image of what you want and staying in the vibration of that image. Energy attracts like energy. Change your way of thinking and change your world! Remember you can only attract to you the things that vibrate in harmony with you.

So my image is of me fitting in to this gorgeous green velvet dress in my closet by Christmas. It’s a size 5/6, which I haven’t been able to fit in to for over 13 years now. What’s even more important is this is the dress I wore to the Marine Corps ball. That event was one of the most important events of my life. It was the first date I had with my husband. It’s what started our relationship. So being in that dress again is extremely emotional for me. It’s something that puts a smile on my face and butterflies in my stomach. So I’ve created a vision of me in this dress, my husband is dressed up, and we’re out having a good time, laughing, dancing, glowing! Just the thought of it brings tears to my eyes at how happy we are!

THAT is what you are looking for in creating your vision! Connect to the positive emotion and experience already having it.

Positive Action Step:

Spend some time looking at what you want in your life. Some people find it easier starting with what they don’t want in their life. If you start there, look and see what’s the opposite of that.

Next create a vivid picture of what that looks like. Add sounds, smells, taste, touch, etc. The more specific and tangible you can be, the better. And have FUN with it! So if your vision is “I am at my perfect and healthy weight, ” envision what an entire 24 hours would look like. Who are you with? What do you eat? When do you eat? What time do you get up? “I get up at 7am energized and excited about my day. I take a nice long stretch and hug my body. I pause for a moment and take a deep breath and close my eyes. As I breathe in, I smell a pot of coffee from down in the kitchen. I hear the birds chirping outside my window. As I continue to breathe, I give thanks for my healthy body. I send my body gentle, loving breathes. After a few more moments, I slowly open my eyes and smile. It’s going to be a fabulous day!” — Yes! This step might take you awhile. Play with it and most importantly have fun!

Finally, once you have a detailed vision, connect with it every morning when you wake up. Connect to the positive emotions this vision has for you. And most importantly, connect with it as if it is already in your life.

1. Attend at least one major sporting event: the Olympics,the Stanley Cup Finals, World Cup Soccer.
2. Visit all 50 states.
3. Go on an Alaskan Cruise.
4. Travel to Africa.
5. Purchase and live on my own private island.
6. Drive the great Ocean Rd in southern Australia. http://www.greatoceanrd.org.au/
7. Travel to Peru, Spain, Norway, Scotland, Ireland, UK, Denmark and Portugal.
8. Throw a huge party and invite every one of my friends.
9. Swim with a dolphin.
10. Learn to speak a foreign language and make sure I use it.
11. Go skinny-dipping at midnight in the South of France.
12. Watch the launch of the space shuttle.
13. Be an extra in a film.
14. Make love on a forest floor.
15. Be a member of the audience in a TV show.
16. Put my name down to be a passenger on the first tourist shuttle to the moon.
17. Send a message in a bottle.
18. Ride a camel into the desert.
19. Write a fan letter to my all-time favorite hero or heroine.
20. Visit the Senate and the House of Representatives to see how Congress really works.
21. Learn to ballroom dance properly.
22. Write the novel I know I have inside me.
23. Drink beer at Oktoberfest in Munich.
24. Shower in a waterfall.
25. Spend a night in a haunted house.
26. Write down my personal mission statement, follow it, and revise it from time to time.
27. Spend New Year’s in an exotic location.
28. Get passionate about a cause and spend time helping it, instead of just thinking about it.
29. Experience weightlessness.
30. Sing a great song in front of an audience.
31. Own one very expensive but absolutely wonderful business suit.
32. Write my will.
33. Sleep under the stars.
34. Go wild in Rio during Carnival.
35. Drive the Autobahn.
36. Spend Christmas on the beach drinking pina coladas.
37. Embrace my fear of failure.
38. Raft through the Grand Canyon.
39. Donate money and put my name on something: a college scholarship, a bench in the park.
40. Buy my own house and then spend time making it into exactly what I want.
41. Grow a garden.
42. Spend three months getting my body into optimum shape.
43. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring.
44. Scuba dive off Australia’s Great Barrier Reef.
45. Attend one really huge rock concert.
46. Go deep sea fishing and eat my catch.
47. Make myself spend a half-day at a concentration camp and swear never to forget.
48. Run to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
49. Look into my child’s eyes, see myself, and smile.
50. Reflect on my greatest weakness, and realize how it is my greatest strength.

I’m blogging as part of my action step today. I was very surprised the direction my coaching call took. It made sense and it didn’t. I had a blow up with my husband that really showed me what I’m not getting in my marriage and what I really need. I’m desperately craving to be adored, pampered, and treated like a princess. I need more romance. More special times. I need to feel special.

So seeing myself having more romance, created feelings of joy, happiness, laughter, fun. I literally saw my body relax and let go. And with that vision, I was lead in to my internal exercise.

I met a part of me named Hazel. She looked like the evil queen in the movie Snow White, when she is in disguise and giving the poison apple to her. I had a sense that she wants to get rid of me and hurt me. I’m feeling scared and confused and very unsafe.

The movie that Hazel plays for me is a series of internal responses I hear when really good things happen to other people:

“I can’t have that”, “I can’t do that”, “Things like that never happen to me”, “Things don’t come easy in my life like that”. I’m hurt and frustrated by feeling less than. I can’t accomplish anything, ever. Good things can’t happen to me.

Hazel tells me that I don’t listen to myself and follow through. She told me I have exceptional intuition, but don’t use it or listen to it. The message she has for me is to listen and be observant and magical things will happen. The belief I have about myself is that even if I get it, I’ll mess it up some how, and lose it. I’m a screw up. What I need to integrate is more self love and self esteem.

The action step she told me was to eat healthy. To give up soda and sugar.

The additional message she had for me was to love myself and I can do it. Then I started hearing things about all the times I wanted to lose weight and failed. Every program was an all or nothing program, nothing was gradual. Then I heard to create my own program. Do this by creating my own journal and have a step by step, blow by blow diary of my journey, and to publish it on my website. Other people can see what works for me and what doesn’t, and use it to help themselves.

So here I am, exposing myself to you. It’s day one. I’m going to start by seeing a vision. What do I really want in regards to my health and well being? (also what do I want in my primary relationship!) Next I’ll create a goal that is realistic and within my control. Next is a plan with specific milestones that mark my way. Then use this blog as a way of holding myself accountable in sticking to my plan and living the life of my dreams!

Thank you for being with me on my journey. If you have any questions or comments, let me know. I’d love to hear from you!

The one that speaks most of illness has it. The one that speaks most of prosperity has it. Have you noticed this before?!

You don’t need to know how it works for it to work. You might not believe in the law of attraction at all, but it’s still working. Take electricity for example… I personally don’t know how it works, but I enjoy its benefits! Electricity works regardless. We live in a Universe that has laws. Look at the law of Gravity… no matter what, if you jump off a building, you’ll fall to the ground.

So I encourage that you USE the law of attraction instead of being used by it. Create conscious thoughts and consciously create your reality.

There are 3 steps to the law of attraction.

1. Ask
2. Answer
3. Receive

Step 1: Ask

First, you must ask for what you want. We are constantly creating things, even if it’s subconsciously. But we mostly focus on the things we don’t want. (you know the person that complains the most seems to always have bad things happening to them?! The person that is always talking about illness all the time is always sick?!) So shift your thinking from the things you don’t want and focus on what you want to create.

Change these thoughts: I don’t want to be fat, I hate the way I look, it’s too hard for me to lose weight, I’ll just gain it back after I lose it, I can diet for a few days, but then I binge, I can’t stick with this.

To this (and make sure they are in the present and not in the future): I am at my perfect and healthy weight, I love my body, it’s easy to reduce the fat in my body (hate saying lose weight, because I certainly don’t want to find it again!) my body is always at its perfect weight, I always eat what’s best for my body.

Most people focus on losing weight. That will keep you in a cycle of always “losing weight!” Set up a plan to get you to your perfect weight and focus on your health and NOT “losing weight”!

When you identify what you desire, create a mental picture of what it looks like and connect with how you will feel when you achieve it or get it. Really connect with that positive emotion. And really connect with ALREADY HAVING what it is you desire. This is the key! The positive emotion and being in the space of already having what you desire.

What you are doing is building an image of what you want and staying in the vibration of that image. Energy attracts like energy. Change your way of thinking and change your world! Remember you can only attract to you the things that vibrate in harmony with you.

So my image is of me fitting in to this gorgeous green velvet dress in my closet by Christmas. It’s a size 5/6, which I haven’t been able to fit in to for 10.5 years now. What’s even more important is this is the dress I wore to the Marine Corps ball. That event was one of the most important events of my life. It was the first date I had with my husband. It’s what started our relationship. So being in that dress again is extremely emotional for me. It’s something that puts a smile on my face and butterflies in my stomach. So I’ve created a vision of me in this dress, my husband is dressed up, and we’re out having a good time, laughing, dancing, glowing! Just the thought of it brings tears to my eyes at how happy we are! THAT is what you are looking for in this step!

Step 2: Answer ( Your Wish is My Command!)

Step two is up to the Universe (or God or Spirit). This is the HOW part. We might ask for a million dollars, but not know how it will be delivered. RESIGN AS GENERAL MANAGER OF THE UNIVERSE! (I know it’s hard, especially for us control freaks, but DO IT!)

The Universe will deliver everything we’re in alignment with. The Universe will create, but we have to be in position to listen and observe the answers and solutions that are coming to us. When we get an inspired thought, we must act and act quickly (the Universe loves speed, it really does!) The Universe doesn’t perceive one request as being bigger than another, that is all our own mindset.

Step 3: Receive (and so it is)

Believe you deserve it. The Universe responds to the feelings that you have. If you’re not a vibrational match for what you’re asking for, if the energy you’re putting out doesn’t match what you’re asking for, you will not get it. If you don’t like your body, you can’t attract fitness and health.

So create a list of things you desire about your health and your weight (plus every other area in your life!) Write them down in great detail! Have FUN with this! Don’t limit yourself. Most of us will have this really great thought about something they want, but then the very next thought is “how in the world will I get that?!” (my example of this is I want to own my own private island in the South Pacific!) Remember the How is step 2. That is up to the Universe. Resign as general manager of the Universe and ALLOW these things to come to you (Step 3).

So once again, have FUN with this list. If you found the magic lamp and rubbed it and a Genie appeared and said to you, “Your wish is my command!” (and you WEREN’T limited to only 3 wishes!) What comes to mind?! Then start imagining that you already have these things in your life. Create a vision map. Cut out images of the things you desire in your life. Put this vision map where you can see it every day. Feel Good about it! Leave the How up to the Universe and Allow these things to come to you.s And So It Is!

“To get new results you must take new actions and all actions are fathered by a decision.” - Anthony Robbins

The first step in anything is making a decision to do so!

I want you to think about that for a moment. The first step in achieving the body, health and well being you desire is to make a decision to have that. I bring this up because so many people jump into “losing weight” before they have fully committed to achieving better health to begin with.

A committed decision is one of the three foundational pilars upon which the success of anything you take on is built.

Definition: To Decide

The word decision comes from the Latin root decidere, which means to cut off from.  When you make a decision you cut off all other possibility.  Think about that.  According to the definition, if you make a decision that you are going to be at your perfect weight and live a healthier life, it means that you are cutting off the very possibility of not succeeding.

That’s powerful!  And that’s the kind of committed decision you have to make about your weight.

For example, you could decide to do whatever it takes.  You could decide to eat healthier foods or to exercise 3 times per week.  One of my favorite decisions is beautifully simple: Commit to being healthy.  Decide to be healthy!

Unfortunately a lot of people who are “trying” to “lose weight” haven’t made a committed decision to release the fat.  They are feeling things out, trying the latest fad diet, hoping this time it will work.  There is no real commitment or determination.  Don’t let this happen to you.  The first step to go from “trying” to “succeeding” is a decision.

Benefits of Making a Decision

Getting to your perfect body size is not easy.  If you don’t fully commit to doing what it takes, you won’t succeed.  It’s that simple.

When you make, and connect with, your committed decision, you will have more focus, clarity, purpose, inspiration and motivation.  Let’s face it, obstacles will arise!  If it was easy to stay at your perfect body size, everyone would have the perfect body.

Your decision will remind you of the reasons why you want to be healthier and why you want to succeed.  When you deeply connect with your decision and your reasons, you will be inspired to take the action necessary to succeed.

This may sound contradictory, but the decision, in and of itself, means nothing.  It is the inspired action that results from you making a decision and connecting with it every day that really matters.

What a Decision is Not

A decision is not a goal.

I think goal setting is great, but the power to achieve them comes from the DECISION.  The first step is to make a committed decision.  THEN you set goals that are congruent with your decision.  But the decision comes first.

Decision: Declaration, commitment, general, comes before the goal
Example: To treat my body as a temple and increase my health and well being.

Goal: Where you want to be, specific, measurable
Example: To fit into a size 5/6 by June.

Assignment:  Make Your Decision

Make a conscious decision, a real declaration, about your commitment and desire for what you want in your life.

Ask Yourself: “What decision can I make right now that will spur me into action and help me stay committed to achieving what I desire?”

Examples:

“I commit to cutting out all processed foods from my diet.”
“I’m doing this and not giving up!”
“I’m a person with a gorgeous body and great life.”
“I commit to exercising weekly, treating my body as a temple and living the life of my dreams.”

Elements of a Powerful Decision

1. Clear

It should be easily understood by a 12 year old.

2. Concise/Memorable

You should be able to easily recite your decision from memory.

3. Evokes Feeling

The actual sentence isn’t as important as the feeling behind it.

4. Inspires Action

The best decision you can make is one that inspires you to take action, even when you don’t feel like it.

Are You Ready? Take time RIGHT NOW and make a powerful decision that inspires and motivates you.  This is a critical piece of the foundation upon which your successful dreams are built.